Derek and Doreen’s haunted house or is it Karillapig mischief

Happy Howl-oween from the Karillapig.

Picture the scene:-

It’s a dark night. The sky is inky black and filled with rain clouds, occasionally a gap in the clouds reveals a bright full moon. A lone wolf howls in the distance.

The driving rain hammers against the windows. A howling wind creates hurricane like formations from the fallen leaves, whirling around and around across the rain drenched lawn. The fence panels are rattled to within an inch of their lives and the shed roof will likely not last the night.

Inside the house all is quiet. Quiet that is apart from the sound of creaking floorboards made by an unseen visitor. The only other sound is the rhythmical tick-tock of the grandfather clock, like a slow, calm heartbeat.  The air is thick with darkness and spookery.

But that’s enough about my house – let’s get on with the story…

Derek in a heap

Of late, the Karillapig has been spending time in the Bumblebottom’s residence. In particular, he has been joining Doreen Bumblebottom as she binge-watches her favourite programme, Most Haunted. Coincidentally, that’s up there on my favourite list too, but that’s not important right now. 

Given recent developments in the Bumblebottom’s residence, Doreen has concluded that her house is indeed haunted and has turned to the experts to learn how to deal with such peculiar shenanigans.  Derek Bumblebottom, on the other hand, has chosen to deal with the problem by basically ignoring it.

In the run up to Halloween and in preparation for what might occur, Doreen Bumblebottom has been glued to the T.V.  All the recent episodes of Most Haunted are now etched on her mind, as are re-runs from past episodes.  Doreen has learnt a lot in terms of meaningful communication with troublesome spooks and plans to put her newfound skills to use should the need arise.

Meanwhile, because the Karillapig has been following Doreen Bumblebottom around – obviously with full invisibility engaged – he has also been watching Most Haunted and has equally learnt an awful lot. Though the interpretations of what is being said and what is being heard by our intrepid intergalactic explorer could be problematic.

You see, it’s like this…

On the show, presenters frequently ask spooks to ‘show themselves’ or ‘make a sound with your voice’. While the Karillapig may not be completely familiar with the ways of us humans, he has developed a slight sense of understanding – largely down to the extra brain he keeps in his purse.

F.Y.I. In case you’ve forgotten, the extra brain the Karillapig keeps in his purse is the one the Karillapig turns to when the need to think a little deeper arises. The only problem here is that the extra brain the Karillapig keeps in his purse is not well known for his ability to think rationally and is largely responsible for pointing out alternatives to common sense.

On the occasion in question, the extra brain the Karillapig keeps in his purse has been helping with translations. So, has convinced the Karillapig to react if Doreen, or indeed Derek Bumblebottom should ask out (as advised by our favourite paranormal investigators) to ‘show yourself’ or ‘make a sound with your voice’.

Earlier today…

Doreen Bumblebottom has been busying herself today doing all manner of things in preparation for the grandkids coming over. As it’s Halloween, she has decorated the house with the usual gaudy decorations consisting of plastic spiders, cotton wool (supposed to look like cobwebs), rubber severed hands, and paper skeletons. Plus two rather large pumpkins with scary faces. A selection of goodies sits in a pumpkin shaped bucket ready for the trick or treaters who are bound to call round, and a rather tempting batch of Parkin is currently baking in the oven, leaving the kitchen smelling absolutely scrummy.

It was this scrummy smell that attracted the attention of the Karillapig, who has kindly brought the Hippobuffafrog along with him for today’s jaunt into the Bumblebottom’s residence.

This smell is something else. It’s the kind of smell, as our tremendous duo have just found makes your mouth water and your tummy rumble. Neither the Karillapig nor the Hippobuffafrog are familiar with a) the smell, or b) the sensations one feels when their mouth waters.

This calls for further investigation. What could possibly go wrong?

Making sure invisibility is fully engaged, the Karillapig and the Hippobuffafrog sneak up to the source of the smell – that being the oven.  Remember, if you’re a critter from the dark side of the Moon, it might be fair to assume you don’t know what an oven is. This is indeed the case here.

Through the glass door of the oven, the curious pair notice a grey tray covered in brown slab like creations. It is not known to either of them what these are, so a closer look is required.

The Hippobuffafrog takes charge here. With a swift manoeuvre of his flip floppy frog feet, he grabs the oven door and pulls it open. Suddenly, a blast of hot hair engulfs him, sending him stumbling backwards across the kitchen floor. It was at this precise moment that Doreen Bumblebottom entered the kitchen.

From Doreen’s perspective, all she saw was the oven door opening on its own. With the newfound knowledge and confidence given to her, thanks to Most Haunted, Doreen stiffens and shouts out ‘Show Yourself!’

This was precisely the moment the Karillapig chose to take the advice of the extra brain he keeps in his purse and promptly dropped his invisibility.

Well, you can imagine what happened next. Mayhem erupted to put it simply.

Doreen might have been expecting to see an image of a person, but instead was confronted by the curious form of the Karillapig. To say this was a shock would be an understatement. With a scream, Doreen turned on her heel and ran out of the back door into the garden.

Meanwhile, in the garden…

Derek Bumblebottom has been spending time in the garden in the never-ending quest that is sweeping up leaves. Derek loves to divide his time between his allotment and the garden, which is an extension of his allotment.  As it’s now Autumn, the time has come to begin planting sprouts – a task not to be taken lightly by the way! So, aside from leaf sweeping, sprout planting is on the to-do list for today.

It was at a particularly crucial moment in the sprout planting process when Doreen Bumblebottom came running out of the house in hysterics. Both the Karillapig and the Hippobuffafrog were running after her with invisibility no longer engaged in an attempt to show themselves. To be fair, she did ask for this!

Just as Derek Bumblebottom was busy handling his sprouts, he happened to turn around to see what all the commotion was. It was that split second that he saw the Karillapig and the Hippobuffafrog in hot pursuit of his wife. The shock of such a sight, whether that was our tremendous Moon heroes, or indeed Doreen Bumblebottom sprinting across the garden caused him to fall backwards. It was this backwards fall that resulted in squashed sprouts, not to mention the disturbance of the newly built leaf-mountain that Derek had spent the last couple of hours sweeping up.

The furry thing with the pointy ears has been watching intently from across the garden and finds the whole debacle intensely amusing.

Fast forward a few hours…

Later that evening, the Karillapig and the Hippobuffafrog are in a deep conflab following the day’s activities. Maybe disengaging invisibility wasn’t the best idea, but it was worth a try.

Doreen Bumblebottom is currently halfway through her second bottle of sherry.  Rather her than me on that one. 

So, there you have it – the latest Halloween capers from our favourite critters from the dark side of the Moon.

Remember to keep an eye out for book two – December, here we come!

Happy Halloween, from Mark and Michelle x

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